Censorship

Yesterday, my husband told me that Liao Yiwu's book is now in the window of the near-by bookshop at the street corner. It is the most attractive book there. This information brought me a flash of thought on sense of democracy as well as of business.
It seems to me, that the western society is habitually assuming the role as the representative of democracy, while the majority is actually only the blind duck, which listens and believes in whatever talks and reports, which are appeared in reachable media, but hardly explores a little deeper and comes out with individual's analysis.
I had a short discussion on this topic with my husband at our lunch table today. We agree with each other on this matter basically. He said, normally, people tend to put their 'self' in the 'right' position and assign themselves with the authority of criticism, while they refuse to be criticized in return. Actually, Germany has been questioned by AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL for its democratic status recently, especially on its policy concerning children's welfare and asylum system. There are certainly also scholars or researchers, who are trying to express their rather balanced view. But it seems that any view, which might reduce the power of criticism, would be too weak for arousing the interests of the publace.
This afternoon, while scan through the UTB books on the bookshelf, I found a book named Literatur und Zensur in der Demokratie, with a very interesting photo on its cover. Censorship is another top hit that draws criticism upon China from western society. Nevertheless, it is simply one of the national mechanism, which is practiced in every country for protecting the existing value and system.

some note about Chinese

There are some remarks about Chinese people from John Buchan, which are cited from Said's Orientalism and then re-cited in professor Yu's book, while he didn't read through the book of Said yet. Now, I am re-re-citing them from professor Yu's Chinese book without reading the book of Said too. hahaha~~~~~~(while my husband knows which pages are the citation from Buchan in Orientalism.)
Buchan said in 1922:
中国有数以百万计的好头脑，却被空洞花哨的玩意弄得创意殆尽。他们没有方向，也没有驱策力，因此所有努力加起来全是一场空。
My husband said that this is prejudice, but I think that it is even true to Chinese people nowadays. I said that there are millions of smart remarks produced everyday in China, which sound seemingly so sharp and so right to the point, yet actually, they could not shake the power of the administrative executives at all, while most people are enjoying 'saying' only, but not 'doing', just like what was depicted in Jiang Wen's movie Let the bullets Fly.

today's reflection

所谓的市场策略，无非是对人性弱点的巧妙利用和操控。
The so-called marketing strategy, is genuinely the artistic exploitation and manipulation upon human weakness.

Some short reflection today

当最初的心智发育完成之后，对于越是听上去头头是道的话语，便越需要格外警惕。
一个优秀的人如果没在人群中发光，只会有两种可能：要么是他/她并非优秀，要么便是人群病了。
（Once the basic mental development has completed, when facing theories, one should keep especially cautious towards those which sound undoubtedly convincing.
If a brilliant person was not glowing amongst the mass, the possible reason could have two faces; either he/she is not that brilliant, or the mass is ill.)

My sentimental husband

Yesterday, while my husband was tidying up his things on the desk right after came back from work, I was still not finished the proof-listening for the piece of reading which I have just recorded, but only gave the machine a pause for giving him a welcome greeting and then preparing the diner table.
So, after the diner table was set, I returned to the working desk and clicked the 'play' button and resumed the proof-listening process. Following this tiny action, the unpredicted and heart-melting effect was that, right at the moment when my voice was coming out from the machine, the eyes of my husband were filled up with tears. Oh my! I had to give him a real hug.
In my arms, he murmured that my voice from the machine sounds simply too soft and tender, sooooooooooo different and has not even a tiny trace of my everyday 'tyranny'.
My poor lovely sentimental husband!:-)

The happiness of right to the point

For more than 2 months, this is the very first time that I have got the chance of enjoying the happy view of straight to the point. My God!!!!!!!!!!

This story tells me that it is NOT a 'goes without saying' sort of thing, for people to act according to what is request and, to answer the question according to what is actually asked.

I should remind myself of avoiding the same assumption from its appearance ever in future. Instead, I should rather keep in mind, that this is a matter which requires extremely high intelligence!

hahahahaha~~~~~~~~~~

My God! I don't know how to express my appreciation and gratefulness toward my highly intelligent friends, who brought me the feeling of freshly alive.

The lucky points of enlightenment

天下大地，平而无偏，但在智能的发射上并不均匀。往往只有几个块面，甚至几个小点，决定着世界上很多人的思维。

——《千年一叹》p404

The experience that I got from these day's communication is interesting enough, no matter from online life or factual life.

A little longer than one week ago, I have given a public notice for the birth of my book and offered the possibility of claiming the autographed books without any cost but merely giving ones personal data such as name and address.
The feedback to this notice is a huge sheet of silence, that surrounds a confused question from my best friend Lucy, due to the unfamiliar email address to her, and an explicit refusal from Zisu, with an understandable and acceptable but not convincing reason.

I feel really curious about the cause behind this silence. I tend to consider, that the readers of my blog are people who are rather convinced of their own intelligence and therefore, the message which is conveyed there by my words, no matter how playful they are, should not be inconceivable. Then, is that they kept themselves from action due to that they suspect the nature of my words? Nevertheless, if they have followed my writing for long enough, they should know that I am a person who despise all kinds of gimmick postures or tiny tricks. From this perspective, then, I am forced to assume that they are making judgment with themselves in front of the mirror again. Oh my! The reality is really helplessly bitter. The funny thing is that the thumb-up sign below the blog article has been hit for 19 times with only 6 showing their blogger identity. Further more, in the comment area of the blog article, which meant to be the follow up action of the first notice, there are quite a few claimed that they 'want' the gift but still, without giving any further information.
The interesting and bitter experience from the substantial matter is coming from the communication with the printing house, concerning shipping details of the finishing product of my books.
In the beginning, I passed some information that I got from Internet to them and said, if the cost could be kept within the range as what the website advertised, it would be the ideal case. As the reply to my information, the printing house gave me a price of DHL , which are times more expensive than what I saw from the website which I found. Then, I asked them if there are possible cheaper ways as I am actually not too urgent to access this lot of books. Then, the reply is another list of speed shipping quotation, which comes from actual logistic companies. I held down my impatient feeling and send them another request, which explicitly asking for door to door sea shipment price. As a new challenge to my temper, I got the sea shipment quotation with very attractive price, but, not door to door.
... ...

Woman, what's you name?

She is a beautiful woman, according to the nowadays pro-Korean standard, though simple-minded, fair skin, slim, well-balanced body figure, soft and fashionable.
She was a devoted Buddhist, who initiatively sent her daughter to be trained in temples in her summer holidays, though she is not a vegetarian. It seemed to me that she doesn't know how to hate, although one could see that she was unhappy as well, when she was maltreated by other colleagues at work. She is indecisive and no resistant power against being 'baby'ed.
I heard that she was converted into a Christian before she went to the USA from Hong Kong. It might seem strange, but I can understand that situation very well; when one is facing a change of life like that and the future is hidden in the darkness, one's spirit gets simply weaker than ever and therefore crying for a strong enough support. So, I never doubted that she could become a devoted Christian too.
I had a short phone conversation with her today. I caught her while she was in the hospital for a gynecological check. She told me that she has got cancer, while her husband is having affair with 3 different women. The line connection was not good, so she was dropped off from the other side of the line again and again. But she kept trying to call back. She said that she would like to tell the entire story of her to me as my writing material. She would like to give her own life-experience an example to the younger generations and let them to be alerted by the pay-backs of fate.
Still, she don't hate anybody and always ready to accept all hardships that she would have to go through. She believes that what she is suffering now, is only the result of what did she do wrong in last life.
I am looking forward for her visit.
Wish the all mighty God would bring her enough strength for carrying on a better life. After all, she is only in her 30s.

I like it

This is a photo that I copied from DW-World. I didn't read through the article, but simply like this photo and all photos contained in that article.
From the phone conversation with my father, I am informed about a newly developed village town in Guizhou. Its name is called Bama, one of the five village towns, which are famous for longevity.
According to my father, one of his friends has already invested an on-construction flat there. So, the estate pollution is stretching its dirty hands toward the rare enough clean nature. Unsurprisingly.
After checking online, I found out that my father mixed up the province. It belongs to Guangxi instead of Guizhou.
Here is the link: http://www.gx.xinhuanet.com/wq/bama/

what a day

In the morning, right after got up from bed, I found out that I couldn't find Kai's passport photo, which I was so sure that I would know where it is, because I am so confident with my disciplined and organized way of living. After searched all possible places, I had to accept the feeling of defeting.
In the afternoon, while I was surfing online, for the DHL information, my computer has been attacked by some naughty virus and got infected. Facing this situation, carrying undescribable anxiety, I was trooping up and down the stairs, pending on the windowsile and pacing into the rain at the front gate and expecting Kai could be right back home.
So, one can imagine, that the whole evening of Kai was then, spent on cleaning up my computer.
My God!
I asked Kai, is the new technology really time-sparing or rather time-comsuming? All the hours and days, which have spent on waiting the machine to work properly, have nothing to do with intelligence or creativity, but rather make one feeling stupid and lament for the brain-cells which have sacrificed their lives under such helpless situation.

Self-centered disease

Received a short email from my sister.
It is a new phenomenon that she writes to me so often lately, though short, while I am considered to be 'always too nagging' and 'keine Ahnung' sort in her mind.
She answered the question which I asked only about a week ago or so, concerning the matter of the photo color, which she scanned for me for the printed sample of my book-cover. It is absolutely senseless to scan the cover with a machine, which has accumulated undistinguishable dirts on its functional parts from her mindless application. Actually, even if the machine is not dirty, it is senseless to do the canning, because a scanned photo can never transfer the textual feeling. Certainly, to her, I would never mention the senseless nature of her unsatisfactory action and I guess it would take her a year or 10 years or even longer to realize it.
Believe or not, there are really some personalities, which can be more profitable than those which are lacking of the function of self-reflection.
Other than that, she informed me about another Prize that her son has awarded in Beijing, and her wish of giving me a disc that contains his portfolio for trying his chance overseas. Seeing from this aspect, her love to her son, disregarding the method and philosophy, would add value to her personal achievement.
Nevertheless, other than informed me the above mentioned matters, her emphasis was put on the topic of my father. Another complaint on father's affairs with those whoever women.
I believe that there is very reason for her complaint. But in my heart, I feel more pity for my father and his life, which was hardly cared by a tender hand and hence forced toward the current self-centered status.
Who is the real victim? Who is the victim of whom or what?
I feel so sad, whenever recalling that lovely little girl in my memory, whom was appealing for protection and sympathy, when she was 2 years old.

*************************
The quotation of the shipping price has doubled from what I have expected. annoying.

Dream

Dreamt about doing not respectful jobs again in a company together with Kai. Kai resigned his job in anger, because he couldn't bear the tyrannic boss any longer. Then, I was facing the question of staying or not. It seemed that I resigned as well eventually. But the question turned more severe then, more primitive and substantial, because the fact which followed, was starving. When one would be starving, the chance for caring about dignity would become even rear.
I met a woman who came from Hunan there. She was also doing some unimportant job.
And then, the scenario changed into a street. I was ringing the doorbells door by door and asking if they need any domestic helper.
Later, Kai turned into Kin and he was selling a roll of his father's painting to a workshop. That was not a workshop of art, but rather indistinguishable. The young man who worked there was nice. At least I felt that way in the dream. He offered 3 thousands of HKD and Kin was trying to add some more. But the young man said that it was already generous enough. I thought that he was generous enough too in the beginning. But then, I was not sure about the quantity of painting which Kin gave him in that roll. I lost my ability of calculating. The young man seemed knowing Kin for long already. So I reckoned, that's actually the way that he kept everyday life financed. 20 paintings for 3 thousands? Then, what its difference from selling crafts in Stanley? I remember that Chan Chik could never accept the moral reality when artists sell their paintings only for the sake of money. I remember the way when he talked about the case, when Chan Kau On sold a painting, which he messed up, for 100 HKD.
Then, Zhang Yimou appeared in the dream and collected a lot of Chan Chik's painting. Actually, he was the real buyer of Kin's rolls. Besides, he brought me hope too.
An unrealistic happy ending.
What a romantic and idealistic dream.
Probably that is why do I feel so sleepy this morning?

Silence

This morning, when I lye in bed and starting to wake up, I heard the singing of birds outside the window, with their own melodies in variety of tunes, noisy but not annoying. At the same time, I heard the sound while my eyes were blinking!!!!!!!!!!!
I have never read something like that for describing silence in literature but merely, the description of the sound, when needle dropped on to the ground came cross my mind. What kind of ground? Does it include the ground paved with thick carpet as well?
There are something from professor's book, which compared the character of monks and poets in the sense of their contribution on cultural exchange, are worth to be noted down.
诗人，首先是那些边塞诗人，也包括像李白这样脚头特别散的大诗人，一生走的路倒确实不少，但要他们当真翻越塔克拉玛干沙漠和帕米尔高原就不太可能了，即便有这种愿望，也没有足够的意志、毅力和体能。好诗人都多愁善感，遇到生命绝境，在精神上很可能崩溃。至于其它貌似狂放的文人，不管平日嘴上多么万水千山，一遇到真正的艰辛和危难大多逃之夭夭，然后又转过身来在行路者背后指指点点。文人通病，古今皆然。
... ...
面对一个古老文明，就像面对一个深不可测的大海；光从书本里读读对大海的描绘是远远不够的，至少也应站到岸边闻一闻海腥味。法显、玄奘明白这一点，所以甘于历尽艰苦而来，成了东亚文明与中亚文明之间深层沟通的首批使者。
... ...
人生太短促，要充分理解一种文明已经时间不够，更何况是两种甚至多种文明。于是大家都变得匆忙，而匆忙中又最容易受欺，信了一些几经误传的信息作为判断的基点，既伤害了自己又伤害了文明。因此，应该抓紧时间多走一些路，用步履的辛劳走出受欺的陷阱。

——《千年一叹》p334，336

Salute to master Faxian and Xuanzang!

Being a Jiang Ziya or not? That is the question.

I can not understand the society of sina blog. Or, should I conclude that it is simply in vain to build up any kind of link with people through blog? Because the link could be so fragile, insecure, even disgusting.
They never want anything serious. I have to say. When I say so, I do not have only serious or sensible words in my mind, which require thinking or intellectual involvement or so.
I guess that they treat Blogging merely a means of playing, trying the roles which they are unable to play in reality. So pitifully, everyone is playing the game or drama of oneself. Simply, there is only one role on the stage, and they tend to convince themselves that this is the only stage in the world.

only the way of presentation matters

there are something, which might not as compelling as the impression that they could have brought to their observers, viewers, audience, readers, from the first sight, after the later spend a little more time and explore further on them.
This is the reflection that I have got when reading while layout Zhu Dake's 《流氓的盛宴》, for now.
His wording can really scare normal people, as if the works are highly intellectual. Nevertheless, the argument seems not so convincing, at least, sometimes.
It reminds me of some thesis which I scanned through 4 years ago; those which tend to use highly academic and abstract terms, while actually got most of them mixed up. I have no idea what kind of react that the writers expect to receive from their readers. Or, they do not expect any reader at all, because they would be all scared off after the first sight?
tricky. tricky.

especially impatient or not, that is a question

Not talking about philosophy, although this could be a topic, when tackling from the angle of living attitude.
What I am saying now, it merely my temper. I think that I am not especially impatient these days. But there are really enough reasons for making me vexed.

******************************************

Regarding human knowledge about civilization, professor Yu had again some very convincing remarks. He said:
……人们对文明史的认识，大多数停留在文字记载上，以及记载者制定的规范上，这也难怪，因为人们认知各种复杂现象时总会有一种简单化、明确化的欲望，尤其在课堂和课本中更是这样，所以，取消弱势文明、异态文明、隐蔽文明，几乎成了一种普遍的社会心理习惯。这种心理习惯的恶果，就是用几个既定的概念，对古今文明现象定框划线，削足适履，伤害了文明生态的多元性和天然性。
因追求过度的有序而走向彻底的无序，因企图规整文明而变成严重损伤文明，这是我们常见的现象。更常见的是，很多人文科学一直在为这种现象推波助澜。
佩特拉以它惊人的美丽，对此提出了否定。它说，人类有比常识更长的历史、更多的活法、更险恶的遭遇、更寂寞的辉煌。

——《千年一叹》pp201-2

misunderstanding

Now, when the man from the printing house misunderstood my word “寄", it gives me an alert. Nowadays, if somebody who checks email without noticing the attachment, would he be trustworthy?
I can not help to feel that the whole thing is so stupid.
The funny thing is that the letter 'p' on the keyboard was stuck this morning, as if it meant to give an echo.
Time is passing so swiftly with all trifle things. I planned to do some recording today, but still not even touched the mic yet.
The printing man replied again and said that he would like to see the paper, size, color of the sample-book. No need to mention, it made me confused with anguish again. Tian na~~~~~~~~~ communication is such a ready-made live tragedy.

Without a handy mouse

I guess the time that I spent on adjusting the position of the mouse is 1/3 of a day. (Forgive me. A little bit exaggerated.)

The problem is that this is not the core of the problem, because, even if I would have a new one, it would be turned out like that again. Believe or not, living room is simply not a study room. I remember that the computers in AIS were striking so easily. I guess that was not only due to the mal-handling of the machine by the users, but also, the surrounding was just not clean enough.

Old fashioned or not, I just do not feel good when things get consumed too fast and I don't think that I am obliged to boost the global economy with my personal consumption.

IT world

Probably, I should consider to participate the party, which Kai invited me for this Thursday.
Somehow, I feel so amazed that nowadays, when the IT world has been developed so much maturer than that of 10 years ago, there are really a lot of free resources available, for example, the free domains of websites.
I found this supplier when I was looking for Chinese artists information. So I have created one with their free space for our on the way publishing house. Sure, it does not have interactive function yet for if we want it to be a business site. Nevertheless, as a start, I think that it is good enough.
Here is the location: http://salamanderhutte.yolasite.com/
Cheer on!

our logo

this is the result of what I worked yesterday evening. we consider to use it as the logo for Salamanderhütte as well as for our family library (傅韦图书馆), while it contains the initial letter of both Kai's and my family name.
Kai thinks that it looks like a candle-hold while it to me, looks more like a scissor or, the tools for repairing shoes. Anyway, again, his mind is so much brighter and positive than mine.
Nevertheless, I also like the feeling of that they are side by side and being part of each other.

******************************************

Finished the reading of Aunt Julia and the Scriptwriter. Thanks to my dear husband, the reading sessions have really brought me a great pleasure. First of all, the work itself is entertaining enough, while the value of it can not be only measured at the entertaining level. During all the sessions, it aroused different speculations and casual and instinctive discussions among us, especially, the symbolic meanings which are conveyed by those radio episodes. Sure, resulted from all these reading sessions, the book looks rather wore out now. Nevertheless, those radio episodes worth second reading, I feel.