Red Dust

a screen shot from the movie 'Red Dust'

Due to my birthday, my husband bought me another pot of Chrysanthemum. 

I gave him a helpless and bitter smile, "chrysanthemum again."

He defended anxiously, "they are golden, look, it is gold."

Certainly, I don't really mind inside.

The whole day, I have been busy for puting the newly recorded "Red Dust" online. I have never imagined the possibility of singing this song myself before, because it sounds always a too difficult case for me to handle. I have heard my sister singing this song once. She has got talent for imitating. It is something that always made me envious about. She can sing this song much better than me.

There are always some songs, which one likes to listen to, but never dare to sing by oneself. There are some songs, which can review a great beauty with the voice of the others, but one can never aquire the ability of singing by oneself.

Everyone has got one's own songs, with specific tune. To identify them, one needs to try.

Nowadays, it seems that there is no any tune would fit to my voice any more. It requires me a great effort for making any sound. The lucky things is that I am not really frustrated. The free soul can still dance in the spiritual world without support from any tangible matter forms.  The red dust weighs nothing in its nature. It is absurd enough and no more than a joke, if one expects to leave a mark behind for a shapeless soul.

After the recording and uploading of this song was finished, I suddenly remembered that "Red Dust" is the only movie which San Mao, the original script writer, had participated in its production and felt very unhappy in its process, according to someone who had close contact with her. The background music of this song, is the sound of kalimba, one sort of African thumb piano. Africa, is a place where left a heavy brush in San Mao's personal experience. 

Perhaps, what kind of content to be remembered, is also something locked by fate? Persons who are spiritually transcendental, are normally determined with early death, disregarding of the differenct means.