Sunday, January 1, 2012

caught cold

[the firework we could see from the back window on the new year's eve]

It likes a routine, every time after visited Uhler, I would catch a cold nowadays. So I am spending my new year's day with cleaning nose and sleeping now.
But the situation in my earlier life was not like that. By then, I caught cold after every long vacation. Which means, the vacations to some strange towns. Later, for a period of time, I thought that this habit has got tired with me and didn't bother me any more, because I am simply too boring.
Obviously I was wrong, although I am still the same boring person and it is for ever true.
Whenever the sleeping was not tight, dreams then would become even more active than usual. I spent nearly the whole night last night, participating the thoughts and actions of Zhang Younan, a respectful person from Yangzhou, who has been the supportive soul of my moral determination in the recent some 3 years. At noon, today, my mother came to me.
With the closed eyes after I woke up, tears rinsed out. The dream was so clear and real. My mood was already crying in the dream, while I leaned my head onto the shoulder of my mother, but without tears. She was wearing a cotton-padded jacket with small standing collar. The material clothe was patterned with little black flowers scartered on white background. I think that that was the pattern which my mother always liked in her whole life. She smiled, clean and tender. She could have been like that in real life in my childhood too. She sat close to me while I was pooling some fried rice from a plastic bag into a plate, which contained some water. She said something, like question, or enquiring. I left the plate of rice untouched and leaned myself to her. 'Mama', I called her.
I cleaned my nose and then changed the candles, burned some new incense, in front of the picture of my mother and my grandma.

2 comments:

Kai Weber said...

Probably when you stay in one place for a long time, your body would find balance. And when you move your body to somewhere else that balance is disturbed and makes it therefore easier to be harrassed by germs and virusses?

I really wish you could get some tight sleep now, as tight sleep is the only one that's really curing and resting.

The incense you burned for your mother was really good. She must have received it and probably liked it very much.

ayu1234 said...

@Spring Day: :-) I believe that I would have a tight sleep tonight.