Gao Xingjian said that he has put his homesick to an end with the finishing of his Soul Mountain and Biography of Shanhaijing, the two works which took him a lot of years to write after he stepped out the boarder of China.
I would say, I have never had feeling such as homesick, while people normally assume that I am a rather sentimental person. I feel that it is difficult for me to be touched by the far-fetched things, which I hardly benefited from. Nevertheless, I only discovered this side of me nowadays. I was not like that when I was little. I can be sure. By then, I even loved Tian'anmen, the place where chairman Mao was associated, for many years before I actually visited it. After that, although chairman Mao has died for a long time already, I still kept this love for a long time, until the myth of chairman Mao had been disillusioned by the historical books and documentary DVDs which are written and produced by foreigners. After all, Beijing is not my hometown, and
my memory about my hometown is always linked with food rather than places. The sentimental link to specific person might cause homesick, but that is not my case as well. People who loved me dearly are all gone to another world. Whenever I recall the time of my childhood, I would sense some melancholic sense in me and feel sort of weak. Yet this feeling has got nowhere to lean on in the hometown and hence it is forced floating and wandering. So, I am carrying a bitter smile on my face while carrying a confused heart without homesick. Quite complicated. Difficult to explain. Once there was even a funny thing happened to me which made me quite embarrassed. That was in the German integration course and the class was discussing the term 'Homesickness'. I started to cry when it was my turn to speak. My tears were running nonstop following the food that I was listing and made all the classmates felt pity for me and rushing to pour their sympathy over me. Strange.
Somehow, it is good to know that I am not the only one who doesn't have homesickness. Rosa Luxemburg said, 'Ich fuehle mich ueberall zu Hause, wo es Wolken, Voegel und Menschentraenen gibt.'
I would say, I have never had feeling such as homesick, while people normally assume that I am a rather sentimental person. I feel that it is difficult for me to be touched by the far-fetched things, which I hardly benefited from. Nevertheless, I only discovered this side of me nowadays. I was not like that when I was little. I can be sure. By then, I even loved Tian'anmen, the place where chairman Mao was associated, for many years before I actually visited it. After that, although chairman Mao has died for a long time already, I still kept this love for a long time, until the myth of chairman Mao had been disillusioned by the historical books and documentary DVDs which are written and produced by foreigners. After all, Beijing is not my hometown, and
my memory about my hometown is always linked with food rather than places. The sentimental link to specific person might cause homesick, but that is not my case as well. People who loved me dearly are all gone to another world. Whenever I recall the time of my childhood, I would sense some melancholic sense in me and feel sort of weak. Yet this feeling has got nowhere to lean on in the hometown and hence it is forced floating and wandering. So, I am carrying a bitter smile on my face while carrying a confused heart without homesick. Quite complicated. Difficult to explain. Once there was even a funny thing happened to me which made me quite embarrassed. That was in the German integration course and the class was discussing the term 'Homesickness'. I started to cry when it was my turn to speak. My tears were running nonstop following the food that I was listing and made all the classmates felt pity for me and rushing to pour their sympathy over me. Strange.Somehow, it is good to know that I am not the only one who doesn't have homesickness. Rosa Luxemburg said, 'Ich fuehle mich ueberall zu Hause, wo es Wolken, Voegel und Menschentraenen gibt.'
黃道吉日 黃曆 農曆
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2 comments:
What if the missing of food is actually part of what we call Homesickness? Anyway, you really have a highly developped taste organ including a big part of your memory reserved for tastes.
You know, there is something which can balance my high standard and rich memory of taste--my desire for laziness.:-)
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