Monday, June 2, 2008

I say, everything has its reason

I have been wandering for a long time after my ME thesis had been submitted and got a cannot- be-better comment back. However, the ironic thing was that my professor told me that the Uni is not going to post our thesis online, simply because we are students from Hong Kong. Have you smelled something stinky? To understand the concern behind that, it does not really require a typical sharp sense or something. The Uni is too shameful for putting those thesisses, which were passed with the eyes of the professors halfly closed, on their website. So, what can we do? Who asked me to hold on such and such principles while the real practical world of Hong Kong is certificate orientated? Who asked me to be a student from Hong Kong coincidently? Obvious enough, my professor really wanted to give me some advice for getting my work published in the academic magazines. Nevertheless, what then? Does the world really care about what you are doing or what kind of contribution the research which exhausted your whole year of youth and mental health has presented? Even if the work would be published successfully, it would only mean that I have squeezed into the crowd where quantity measures more than quality. I really admire my professor, because he is a person who puts his feet on the ground so firmly and is never easy to be satisfied concerning the plausibility of theories. Nevertheless, other than his students and people who are working in his circle, who would recognize his name, even if he had made fair enough contribution to Chinese linguistics? Go on research or not, honestly, I cannot say that I was so clearly free from struggling. Eventually, I have to find a balance among the elements of how much time do I still have in this life, how much effort I would be able to pay for certain targets, and how much happiness I could gain when these targets might have placed under my feet, etc. The result is certainly way too out of balance. And this unbalance made me put my thesis here, and hope all the effort I paid was not in vain.

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